On a Wednesday evening in midtown Tulsa, Kate Austin and Summer Knox sat talking and laughing beneath the soft glow of rainbow neon. Around them, dozens of others were settling in for the evening. Some played pool, others caught up over drinks or found a quiet corner to read.
The scene was a familiar one at Yellow Brick Road Pub, one of the nation’s few remaining lesbian bars, where Tulsa Queer Women’s Collective hosted its October gathering. The community group meets monthly, bringing together LGBTQ+ people and allies from across the city.
About four years earlier, Austin was looking for exactly this kind of company. She had recently come out as queer when a friend of a friend pointed her toward the collective, offering an introduction to a community she had been hoping to find.
“I had friends but I was really in need of queer community,” Austin told the Flyer. “And it was like I immediately dropped into a group of like-minded people.”
For both women, the gatherings offer an opening into friendships that can be difficult to find as an adult. Work, routines and established social circles leave fewer opportunities to meet new people.
“Having that shared experience makes it easier to connect,” Knox said. “Once you find your people, you start getting to know others through them, too.”
That same desire for connection and a wider circle led collective co-founders Terah Williams and Hannah Jackson to create the collective in April 2018.
Williams, a Tulsa native who had recently returned home after living in Pittsburgh, missed the roster of events her previous city offered. She enjoyed her existing friendships in Tulsa but wondered where to foster new ones.
“Where are the new people? Where are the new faces?” she recalled asking. “Back then there weren’t a lot of clear spaces for queer people.”
Jackson was asking similar questions. Seeking more opportunities to connect with other LGBTQ+ women, she approached the advocacy organization Oklahomans for Equality to ask about women-specific groups in Tulsa. At the time, there wasn’t an obvious group for her to join.
With encouragement from friends and folks at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center, the two friends decided to organize one themselves, carving out time around their full-time jobs to put together a monthly happy hour.
Finding third places in Tulsa
This story is part of the Tulsa Flyer’s series on third places around the Tulsa metro — spaces and groups where people are creating community outside of home and work. Help us write more stories on the third places that already exist and where they should be by filling out the form below.
Typically held on the first Wednesday of each month, the location rotates to a new spot for every meetup. The practice, Williams said, allows attendees to discover new LGBTQ+-friendly establishments across Tulsa while giving the group a chance to support businesses that welcome them.
Once inside, much of the community-building happens through small gestures such as offering a seat or introducing newcomers to other members.
“We try to make sure everyone feels welcome, especially when they’re coming for the first time,” Jackson said. “If someone seems a little nervous or doesn’t know anybody, we’ll strike up a conversation or introduce them to someone we think they’ll get along with.”
Over the past eight years, those introductions have grown into friendships, watch parties, fantasy leagues and social circles that continue gathering long after the monthly meetups end.
Where to find Queer Women’s Collective
The group posts its schedule of dates and locations on Instagram. Queer Women’s Collective will also host a special meetup for Tulsa Pride. Members will meet at Elote Cafe & Catering, 514 S. Boston Ave., at 2:30 p.m. Saturday before walking to the parade route around 4 p.m.
Austin’s own life is one example of how far those introductions can reach. The friendships she made through the collective gradually widened her social circle, with one connection leading to another until, eventually, those relationships brought her and her partner together.
“I came looking for community, and now so many of the people in my life are connected to this group,” Austin said. “It’s really special to think about (how much) came from just showing up.”
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