The holidays can serve as a restful break for some. For others — whether it’s grief or financial struggles — this can be a difficult time of the year.
“The holidays are stereotypically portrayed as very joyful, where you create a lot of memories with your families,” said Kim Parker with the Parent Child Center of Tulsa. “We know a lot of families and parents really experience heightened anxiety, stress.”
Parker, who serves as the center’s vice president of therapeutic services and family supports, said there are a variety of factors that stir negative emotions around this time of year.
“Trying to meet expectations of — there’s a lot on social media of this — the picture-perfect Christmas, the picture-perfect holiday season, what you’re supposed to get your kids for Christmas,” she said.
When coupled with grief or childhood trauma, “that can really add to where the holidays may not feel as joyful for some families,” she said.
Setting realistic expectations
Setting boundaries and resetting expectations for the holidays is key to managing emotions.
“We don’t need to do all the big traditions, all the things we’re seeing on social media,” Parker said. “What are one or two traditions we can make special for our family?”
Low-cost or free activities are often more memorable for children, she said.
“What kids are going to remember into their adulthood are those things like the family movie night with the blanket fort, walking and looking at Christmas lights … creating a ritual around reading or baking,” she said.
It’s also important to protect routines during the holidays, even while traveling or taking time off work.
“When kids and adults are hungry or tired, our grouchiness and irritability and stress levels go up, and then if everybody’s hungry and tired and out of sync, that’s a lot of stress,” Parker said.
Ultimately, managing stress levels this time of year is about making the decisions that are best for your family.
“If going to a certain family member’s house is too stressful, don’t do it,” she said. “You can set those boundaries for yourself or let family members know ahead of time.”
Don’t be afraid to check in
Sharp changes in sleep patterns, mood and appetite, as well as the inability to care for themselves or their children, can all be signs that someone is struggling with seasonal depression, Parker said. Don’t hesitate to reach out or check on them.
“It could save a life. It could create safety for kids and for families,” she said.
If you have safety concerns for someone struggling, or if their situation begins to worsen, Parker said it’s appropriate to seek professional help.
Tulsa-area resources include:
- Maternal mental health hotline for pregnant mothers and new moms;
- 988 hotline for mental health distress or suicidal ideation;
- Warmline for those experiencing distress or loneliness and seeking peer support.
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